fatblog.digsite

So, 2007 was full of badness, depression, more badness, therapy, meds, doctors, more depression and badness. But it ended on a good note. For the last 3,4 months of 2007 things have been looking up for me. My mood has improved and as result I’ve gotten things done. Work has again turned into a pleasure. I feel good about it.

I’m also beginning to feel better about my home life. Not that anything has really changed in that front, but I’m beginning to form plans in my head and a sense of positivity about the future.

That being said, I still usually find that I have to win a small battle in my mind to keep myself from sliding backwards. My doctor thinks my depression was/is more chemical than it is circumstantial, and she’s probably right, but I think that my medication and therapy has got me as far as they can. I have to continue feeding whatever excitement about life I might have if I want to lessen the number of internal battles I have to fight.

2008, for me, symbolizes an open opportunity to do just that. Right now I feel hopeful about a lot of things, but I do a lot of avoidance to keep it this way. So right now, I choose to focus on the positive. And maybe focusing on the positive will eventually become second nature to me. A new good habit, if you will. Thinking negatively has been a habit for a long time and I need to try to change that. One week a at a time.

So I decided that this will no longer be my “fatblog”. No more focusing in on what I keep failing at. For this year at least, I will focus in on what I SUCCEED at.

thenew.digsite.net