It’s a good thing I started exercising tho.  Because I think that will make all the difference.

I met with ‘Treasure’ yesterday evening and he was nice.  I didn’t ask him about the name tho.  He made me do about 5 different kinds of crunches, then a few arm pulls using this humongous rubber band looking thing.   After that was over, I went upstairs and used the eliptical for 15 minutes.  I could have gone longer but I had run out of water by then.  And I know how I get when I’m not hydrated.

Tomorrow I’ll be going back for my second day with him.   I’m feeling it in the abs today which is a nice surprise because I didn’t think he worked me as hard as I expected. I think he didn’t want to go too hard after I told him I hadn’t excercised in years so I’d probably get tired quickly.

Strange side effect today, I’ve wanted to exercise since I woke up.  I really hope this means I may develop a love for it because those 15 minutes on the machine were the most boring ever.   I need a way to stay entertained while doing repetative shit like that.

Oh, and ‘dan’ isn’t going to be the whip wielding feind.  It’s going to be some macho man by the name of ‘Treasure’.    No, I’m not kidding.   This is going to be real interesting.

A few days ago I got one of those rare good-for-you impulses (as opposed to the bad ones that lure me to the snacks machines) and I called LA Fitness to unfreeze my membership so that I could sign up with a personal trainer.  I had decided I needed to enlist help, even if that help comes with a price.  Unfortunately signing up turned out to be a multi-day process so I’ve already had to fight several negative talk moments with myself.  Self talk that was trying to convince me it was a bad idea.  I went there this weekend and got their class schedule.  And at 5pm today I have an appointment with ‘Dan’ who, if I think he’s hot enough, might actually cause me to return …over and over.  :)  And with some luck I might lose the 40lbs I want to.   

Anyways, I guess I’ll write something when I’m done about how that goes with leiutenant dan.

I didn’t lose any weight this week, but the inches are fluctuating .  less in most places, more on my right thigh.  I measure each thigh separately because I’m intrigued by the fact that they are so different.  my right is consistently 3cm more than my left and I find this fascinating.  I only measure my left arm tho..  cuz I didn’t want to go too crazy.

Anyway, so “stepping it up” is going to need to involve exercise.   I feel like shit most of the time i’m home, which is why I dont’ do shit.   And just thinking about it makes me wonder how am I going to get up the energy to exercise…    This is where “just do it” comes into play.

I lost 0.8 lbs, and 2.5 total centimeters in girth.  It could be anything.  It could be a big dump, but I was gaining before.   So I’ll allow myself the feeling of accomplishment.

My Fat Stats History

I cooked dinner yesterday and although I had a lot of rice and chicken, I also had a vast amount of salad.  J kept saying “wow, you really like salad!”.  When it’s with my chicken and rice, YES!  I also haven’t had any soda so far, well maybe one.  I’m trying find a way to keep that good stuff at work now. I need to keep myself surrounded with healthy things to eat.  Cuz when i get hungry I will eat the bad stuff from the machines and I can’t stop myself from doing it.  The plan is to have salad at work, fruits, yogurts, and water…  and whatever else I need.

I’m also trying hard to cut down on the sugar intake.  My feet are covered with tinnea pedis and I’ve hit it with all kinds of anti-fungals.  I have 3 prescription creams and I use at least one of them every day. Plus I soak them in vinegar, otc anti-fungals, or prescription dandruff shampoo (which doctors use to treat tinnea) every night.  Sadly, none of this has even made a dent in this infection.  My feet always hurt or itch, and frankly it’s beginning to be a handicap in my life.d

Tinnea is a kind of yeast fungus that feeds on sugars. Thankfully I beat it everywhere else it was growing, but my feet are rotting in it.  And I think the only way to beat this is to cut out the sugars from my diet. I won’t give up my morning coffee with sugar tho. But I have to cut the sugar out everywhere else.

But I’m still doing it again.   I feel more ready this time than before, tho.  And I’m not just saying that.  I think I will stick with it this time because…..

1. I’m not going to make it about weight alone.
2. I am weary of being such a tired, grumpy couch potato at home.
3. It’s almost the end of the year, and I want to make a change before 2009.

I won’t elaborate on the last two in the list , but about #1…  I will elaborate.

Ever heard of body squalor?  That’s the body equivalent of what happens to your house when you neglect it. And that’s what I have going on, in my opinion.  I feel it’s all connected with my frame of mind, depressive tendencies, the I don’t care attitude about my life, etc.   That all has manifested itself in weight gain and in other ways as well including…

1. disintegrating wardrobe
2. dwindling energy
3. non-existent social life
4. mood swings, short temper
5. fungus overgrowth on my skin

So I will stop there and say that I’m going to be focusing a little at a time on all of these things.  And to satisfy my blogging needs, I’ll be logging everything on my fatblog.  I’m hoping that will help keep me motivated too.

I think it’s time to start planning a restart of said trek to good health.

sigh…

The weekend was also scrapped. I ate, as I said, like a starving farm animal. But today is the start of a new week. (Tuesdays are my first day of the week). I have also renewed my membership to CalorieKing.com which has, in my opinion, THE best food database in the planet. So wish me luck again, yo.

Breakfast was familiar (large coffee & OJ), but I also had the eDiets english muffin with peanut butter. It tasted like raised cardboard, but I’m sure it would have been better toasted instead of cold. Lunch consisted of a spicy black bean salad with onions and who knows what else. Another one that’s an acquired taste I haven’t yet acquired. I did like the fact that they left me feeling full tho, despite their minuscule portions. I brought extra snacks to work since the ediets meal delivery thingy only sends one snack. I got 100-calorie popcorn and cereal bars. Apples too. I did have one snack too many, but hey.. my stomach is still used to massive amounts of food in one sitting.

I really don’t want to screw this up but it’s going to be hard to NOT give into cravings. I’ve never said no to myself when it came to food.